Even though you already know my God, what I am about to say below, I feel compelled to put it in writting for all to see.
Above all I love you with all my heart and soul. I can not find the proper words of sorrow for all the times I have hurt you. Thank you for the sacrament of Confession. I love your Son, Jesus Christ and the One Holy, Catholic and Apostolic church that He built on the Rock of Saint Peter. I love the Holy Spirit. I love Our Blessed Mother and what she has meant in my daily life. I love all the Angels and Saints and the poor souls in Purgatory. I love Louie my Guardian Angel. I believe in everything Our Church teaches on doctrinal faith and morals, whether I grasp it, fully understand it or even if I am not aware of a certain teaching. I fully and lovingly accept it. I try to live by the Ten Commandments and the Apostles Creed. I try to love my enemies. The plight of the poor is tragic and I should do more. I will do more. I do not fear you but there was a time in my life when I did. I have sold my soul to you but I will not know if I have secured my salvation until I die and meet your Son. I hate the Devil and all the evil spirits who prowl thru the world seeking the ruin of my soul, my loved ones souls and every soul they can obtain for hell.
I am concerned and pray that as many as possible will find and earn eternal salvation. I cannot even imagine how deeply You along with Your Son Jesus, Blessed Mother, Saint Joseph and all the Angels and Saints love children. There are many of us that are worried about all those souls from the moment of conception until the moment they reach the age of reason. Although God, I am curious as to how and what happens regarding their salvation , I have a contentment in my soul, that I need not worry and completely trust in you, my God.
My heart breaks with the current crisis of Faith within Our Catholic Faith. I know that all through history there has been crisis of faith at varying degrees. The need for proper teaching, example setting and defense of our faith and most importantly living our faith is under constant attack from the devil and sins of this world. The teaching of the SPECIFICS of the faith along with the why's, how's, who's and where's are so desperately needed now more than ever. Most of this crisis is punishment for complacency and sin and not living our faith as if our life depended on it.
There are so many religious and lay people that have helped me in my lifes journey, towards reaching You, my God. There are present day Priests and relgious that I need and look up to with great respect to help me achieve Salvation. I try to thank them in person when possible, for what they do. I try not to look for trouble or scandal most especially in our Church leaders and clergy. Our Catholic Church should be our spiritual safe harbor and can never be attacked by us. I feel that the job description of Catholic Religious is to teach and lead by example as many souls as possible to Salvation before they die. I could never attack or leave the ark of the Catholic Church. BUT before You, my God and before all, I will not allow anyone to attack or scandalize Our Church. I will not allow anyone to tell me in ANY position whether outside the church or even in a position of authority in the Church that for me to defend against blatant scandal which goes undiscplined or ignored that my attack is against the Church itself. I will never try to jump to conclusions and pray for proper descernment and due dilegence before I speak up. God, I need not go into a laundry list of the scandals that have boiled the blood of so many Catholics waiting and praying for someone to speak up and address and remedy the void, despair and discouragement that exists today. My dear God, you know well of two of my encounters with patients just yesterday. There are so many in the church directly responsible for their plight and despair, shame on those who touched their lives that could have helped them. With one I did my best and wasn't too shy to beg for her to return to the church.
These encounters are ongoing and have been for years. One person, elderly and very sick said to me, I am am so glad since Vatican II, that we do not need to worry about Purgatory anymore. With charity,We should all know that we do not pray for the Souls in Hell, we pray TO and not for the Souls in Heaven , for they are Saints. We DO pray for the poor souls in purgatory. The Clergy along with layman, myself included are responsible for this type of void and basic misconception on this and so many teachings. Most teachings of the Church are simple basics, not hard to understand but if you do not hear them often enough you can and sometimes do loose them; very tragic.
Many of our Priests are scared , quiet and overwhelmed in this current crisis of faith. Their silence is deafening. Many are trying to teach and lead but do not get proper encoragement or support and become discouraged. Too many are worried about the collection basket instead of the Salvation of their flock.
I have and will continue to write letters and talk to priests and church hierarcy. I will encourage and be humbly thankfull for the good many do. I can not be a hypocrite. I will continue to write letters when I see scandal and evil. I have writen the Bishop in the past asking if possible to recognize a faithful Priest with the title of Monsignior or Very Reverend. I will always try to thank a priest for a faithfull homily and his spiritual encouragement. For many Catholics that fifteen minute weekly homily is their only opportunity to hear real SPECIFIC doctrine and guideance in right and wrong. God, why is it that I can take packets to several priests in person, detailed with a very real opportunity now with the introduction and passage of a pending bill: The Life Begins at Conception Act.. When passed and It can be passed and that would overturn Roe Vs Wade. ENOUGH of the murders of the innocent. I can not even get a response from the Priests and one Priest tells me that there are more important things the church needs to work on right now. Why is it that a priest while, I was on vacation with my family, opens his homily by saying I have an epiphany for you as goes on to say that The Church errored when she taught that there is no salvation outside the Catholic Church and continues with a tirade of unspeakable comments. Some people were looking at each other. Shame on me for not walking out of church and going to another Mass. God, please forgive me. I know I said Heretic loud enough for many to hear as I was leaving. Where are the parishiners on this? Where is the Bishop, oh God? Why would a priest ask me directly, You do not believe in no salvation outside the Catholic church do you? My God, you know my answer I gave to him to that question. Why is it that so many priests do not want to talk about No Salvation outside the Catholic Church?
I can not confuse my grandchildren with praying for Our Pope and clergy during Mass and then telling them about all the scandal in the church outside church doors. They are too young, they have not reached the age of reason yet. I am submissive to our Pope on all matters of faith and morals and would love to meet with him. I know that He is the Vicar of Your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ but I would humbly and with proper deep respect and love, ask my questions. I know your son, Jesus allowed many questions from his apostles and others. What might appear obvious to me could very well have a different meaning if I was privy to the exact intent of the deed. I could never judge a Pope. I leave that completely to You, My God and Holy Mother Church. That there have been things said and done that deeply concern me I will leave in my soul for You to prayfully help me with; for in fact there are many.
My God, as You know I am member on a Catholic Forum and there is even a crisis of faith on this forum. These are passionate people trying to sort out their salvation. They are searching, probing and defending what they believe is Truth and the search thereof. The pain is so intense from the scandals in the church and the fact that they are so abundant so obvious and so real to us that I fear some might not stay in the ark of the Church and be defenders of the faith. I am so thankfull that I know the end of the story for without that knowledge and Your guarantee, I would despair. I am very thankfull in knowing that the gates of hell do not prevail. God, I know that salvation is a very personal thing, but I also know that if I do not live, love ,share and defend my faith that I will not be spending eternity with You. I tell our children the goal of life is not material things but to get to Heaven.
In closing God, I do have a few other items that I need to say. My prayer is for you protect and safeguard good Priests like Father Michael Rodriguez and the many priests like him.
Thank you God for MRyan . Please continue to have him help me.
My God, there are so many people through my years that have helped me to compile my book of life. In the prayers that I say daily, there is one priest that I pray to not knowing for sure that he is with you now. I sure do think so ! My wife and I were blessed to spend two days with him in 1971. You know everything that we talked about. His love for You and Our Church was something I had never experienced before or since. I wish I could remember more but what I took away was spiritually lifechanging. If he is with you, please tell Father Leonard Feeney that George said Hi and thank him for the way he touched my life and ask him to please pray for me and my loved ones. If he is purgatory and I have any prayer credits in my account today, please apply them to his soul for he is anxious to see you. I would beg and implore Holy Mother Church to start the process of cause for the purpose of Sainthood for Father Leonard Feeney.
Lastly God, I love You and Our Catholic Faith. I can not tolerate the scandals in our Church and will do my best to defeat them. I pray that there are many that will fight this battle. It is a matter of spiritual Life and Death. I have climbed up on my white horse and my right hand is on the my spiritual sword. God please help me. Should I pull the sword from its holster?
All my Love,
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I am slightly embarrassed at my name being mentioned in your heart-felt open prayer.
But I thank you nonetheless, and pray that I can even begin to live up to such lofty aspirations; to which I know I have failed time and time again.
God bless you ...
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